22 Years Old

So I had this brillant idea that I would do something like Jay-Z's Twenty Two 2's. Except, you know in blog form. I got as far as "Man, I am too excited to turn twenty two to(day)." Before I realized that I am not Jay Z. I'm not even Jaz-O.

Man...22. This time last year I was a completely different person. I had just come back from Oxford and my first major life changing experience. I had senior year ahead of me, and the whole wide world beyond that. Now? I have been humbled and uplifted.

Right now, I am taking inventory of my life. Jerzy Kosinski is a novelist and screenwriter who wrote the classic film Being There (if you have not seen it, sit down and watch it. I mean really watch it. It is powerful, and quite funny.) Kosiniski's motto formed the backbone of my personal statement:

"The principle of art is to pause, not bypass. The principles of true art is not to portray, but to evoke. This requires a moment of pause--a contract with yourself through the object you look at or the page you read. In that moment of pause, I think life expands. And really the purpose of art--for me, fiction--is to alert, to indicate to stop, to say: Make certain that when you rush through you will not miss the moment which you might have had, or might still have. That is the moment of finding something which you have not known about yourself, or your environment, about others and about life."

That quote spoke to me then, and even more now. I don't know how well you know me, but I'm a bit of a control freak. I am always making plans. And those plans have to be perfect. Everything has to be perfect. But, in my rush to make things perfect, to create those situations, I am not enjoying myself. I am not living my life. I was rushing. I am learning to pause. I'm realizing that each day is art. And that is what I'm looking for now. Those moments of pause. Moments of art. And I'm looking for them in the moments. And in the people I surround myself with.

This weekend, I am going to see one of my good friends get married. Which is such an odd thing for me. More on that next week. Also, my analysis of MTV's list of the hottest rappers. But for now, I'm tired and I have to fly out tomorrow.